Nothing Sweeter

Yesterday, after a long, stressful 10 hours of work, Jamie stumbled home tired and deflated. He came through the front door with his usual greeting to the dogs and made his way into the kitchen where I was managing to put together salads while balancing Lucy in one arm. "How was work?" I asked, knowing full well what his answer would be. "Busy..." he responded, hardly audible. Suddenly, I felt a stab of guilt. Though being at home with Lucy can be tiring and even trying during times of extreme fussiness, spending hours cuddling my sweet little pumpkin is priceless. I thought of the contrast between my day and Jamie's day. While I nibble on little baby toes and lose myself in our daughter's slate blue-gray eyes, Jamie spends his time solving network problems. And while I'm confident in my connection with our baby, in the past few weeks as he's come home from work later and later, I know he has questioned whether or not Lucy even knows he's her dad. But all of that changed in one indescribably beautiful moment last night. When he bent down to kiss her head, he said "Hey little girl, daddy missed you so much today." But instead of looking past him, Lucy looked him in the eyes and smiled. Not the little half smile of newborns--this smile lit up her entire face as she stared into her dad's eyes. And she continued to smile as her dad scooped her up into his arms, saying, "You really do know I'm your daddy. That makes my day." Suddenly, all of the stress melted away and for the first time in the weeks since Lucy came, Jamie could soak up every ounce of the joy of being a dad.

Giving Into the Dreaded "P" Word

As an inherently guilt-ridden person, I should have known that parenthood would bring about a whole new meaning to the word. Yesterday, after three days of watching Lucy attempt to force her little balled up fist into her mouth, listening as she made loud sucking sounds, and cringing in pain as my little "barracuda nurser" spent hours upon hours comfort nursing, I finally gave in to the dreaded "P" word. After what seemed to be a particularly dramatic crying spell, Jamie had taken our little raven-haired beauty upstairs in an attempt to soothe her. When the house became strangely quiet, I made my way upstairs to the bedroom only to find my husband lying on his back with Lucy vigorously sucking on his pinkie. In a moment mixed with desperation, frustration, a bit of disgust mixed with horror, and overwhelming guilt, I tore open the various packages of silicon goodness and popped the first of these objects into her mouth. Suddenly there was blessed silence--immediately followed by gagging, crying, and more gagging. For a moment, the guilt was crushing. As I reached down to cradle my little soprano whose voice is often at its finest at 4 am, I decided to give it another try. I reached for the next selection, this one sporting a fashionable turquoise trim and gingerly tickled her lips. To my absolute, albeit guilty, delight, the silence was golden. The three of us lay in bed for the next hour, Jamie watching old episodes of Heroes on his laptop, Lucy laying in between us contently watching her daddy, and me watching as my little one happily sucked on her Pacifier. At long last, I had given in.

Some musings on time...

Before Lucy arrived, everyone always told me to treasure each and every second of time with her because children grow up before you know it. And though I feel foolish saying this, yesterday I cried when I realized how quickly my two-week-old is already growing up. Yes, perhaps it's the hormones, but when I went to change Lucy's diaper and saw that her little dried (and a bit disgusting) umbilical cord had finally fallen off, I started crying. Yes, I know I'm being a bit dramatic. I mean, Lucy is only two weeks old. I still have plenty of time to savor each and every little toothless yawn and grin while she's sleeping. But seeing her cord come off, I realized just how precious this time is. On Saturday, she'll be three week's old. Before I know it, it'll be time for me to go back to work and then the time will really begin to fly. It's ironic that during my pregnancy, I couldn't wait for time to pass. I would mark each passing day on my calendar, silently urging them by. Now, I find myself willing time to slow down. I suppose all I can do is savor each and every precious moment with my little girl and not feel guilty for letting the dishes sit in the sink as the dustballs accumulate on the floor. The hours upon hours I sit in the recliner holding Lucy and staring into her eyes aren't wasted time. After all, as T.S. Eliot once wrote, "Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time." And I've thoroughly enjoyed "wasting" each and every second!

Baby's first Target trip awwww

Oh my goodness. The little lady isn't even a week old yet and she's been indoctrinated into the goodness that is Target.

Mom was a little worried about taking the little lady out but I think she'll be OK. We only let two homeless men hold her so she should be fine and free of disease for now. One of the men had a bit of an oozing sore but he assured me the folks at the free-clinic said it was nothing. He was nice enough so I figured what the heck.

Mom, a self-confessed Target-Fiend(tm) shed a tear as her little shopper-to-be crossed that magical threshold near the dollar items.

We're so proud.

In all seriousness, today was the second time we've taken her out because, well, we were getting a little stir crazy here in the house. Being the google-freak that I am, I tried to find opinions online for when it's ok for a proper trip out with a newly birthed earthling. And of course, since it's the Internet every whackjob out there can publish info (I'm not being elitist and excluding myself here :-) ). The info I found online ran the gammut from 6 weeks, to people talking about going to a Phish concert on the way home from the hospital (sweet).

So today Lucy got to meet her Great Grandpa Copeland down at the family hardware store in Clinton, SC and also spent some time with my own dad and my niece Lexie who was just about as sweet as she could be today.

Oh, and she went to Target.

-Jamie

New Pics! Jen will write a proper post for this later!

Lucy Adair Copeland has arrived! 9lbs 2oz and a nice 22" long

Not to mention a BREEZE of a 14 inch head that can traverse a birth canal with ease... NOT!

Luckily mom is A-OK and we are just loving up this little girl. I am in somewhat of a zombie state right now but I thought I'd upload a couple of pics to share for those of you out there who may be waiting on them.

Thanks for all the well-wishes!!

-Jamie

12+ hours and no baby so far...

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to give a quick-update for those of you that may be keeping an eye on the blog here.
We initially were told to be here at the hospital at 6:30 this morning and then we checked in and were told that they were full and to wait til about 10. So we did, and when we arrived things still seemed a bit full. We did finally get checked in and such at what seemed to be closer to noon. To top it all off, we have no window, which Jennifer is none to thrilled about.

Not long after we got settled the Oxytocin started, then a bit later the Doctor came in and went ahead and broke her water. After this the contractions got a bit stronger than the mom to be cared for. After a bit of percieved resistance (which, I mean hey they told us, theyd give it whenever we wanted) Jennifer got the epidural (which was one of the scariest times in my life to see this happening, which yes I know this is routine and all but eh they were sticking a rather large needle into my wife's spine). Jennifer is now much much much more comfortable and as I am finishing up this post I just heard the nurse say she's at about 6cm dilated.

Looks like she's not going to be born on 8/8/08 after all.

More details to come! Keep those fingers crossed.

-Jamie